Now keep in mind, we moved from Ohio to Michigan to train with Polly Howard, one of the best trainers out there.  Yes, sold our home in Buckeye land and moved to Wolverine territory so that our girls could train with Polly. 

Well, I had a moment of insanity.  It all started with the pictures.  I take hundreds of pictures at horse shows.  Emily had moved to Junior Jumpers which is a big step from Children’s and was having your typically “learning curves”.  Now the bad part is that in just about every picture I took, Emily is leaning to the right and yes, knocking down rails…….I had proof on my digital camera what the problem was and I was on a mission to help correct the problem.

Here is what not to say: “Oh my gosh, could you have been any farther on his side???”  “How can he get over the jump trying to keep you in the saddle???”  Honestly, Emily looked at me like I’d just grown horns.  Polly the trainer was also convinced I had grown horns and was keeping her distance!!  This went on for a week (maybe two….remember I was light headed) and it just wasn’t in the Jumpers but in the Hunters as well!!!! 

Here’s what else isn’t good to say: “Oh my gosh, any slower and your horse would’ve been walking!  How about some pace???”  Then, “There is no way you are doing the Classic if you can’t even make it around the ring!!!”   Wrong thing to say!

Honestly, it’s not even like I’ve ever thought, “Hey, I bet being a trainer would be fun!”  I know my role is to be supportive and tell them they did a good job, let Polly be disappointed….they really don’t want that and will work their rear off to make her proud.  And really, all the kids that compete, they do want it more than anything.  They work so hard at this and some days (some weeks) are just crummy but I promise you, if they can learn from their mistakes, they will be better riders for it.  I’ve seen it in my girls. 

I decided that being a trainer wasn’t for me.  I told Polly that she could keep the job – I want no part of it!  We all got a big laugh out of my “trainer time”…Emily didn’t think it was so funny but can now laugh about it.  I’m sure therapy will be in her future!  I’ve told her I’m willing to pay for it as I’m sure everything will be my fault! 

Not too long ago Sarah my other daughter was on her horse getting ready for a lesson, Polly and I were standing by the gate and I said, “Hey Sarah, I can give training another try… I didn’t do so hot with Emily but I’m sure I’d be better with you!!”  She looked at Polly and said, “Don’t you dare let her!!” 

They have no sense of humor at times!  So what did I learn from this?  If you are Mom, just be Mom.  There will be so many disappointments but they need the disappointments to grow not just to be better riders but to be better people.  Life isn’t fair, and the sooner they realize that the better.  It’s anyone’s day in the ring so make each round count and do your best.  Here is what I try and say now: “There’s always tomorrow…”

Thanks to Sharon for submitting this article! She can be reached at: beingahorseshowmom@yahoo.com


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